It has taken me a while, longer than I expected, but I think I finally ready to get back to blogging, posting, and my personal favorite- Coaching. I always talk about how unexpected things happen and life can get messy- well, things certainly got messy, but things are getting better, slowly, but progress is progress right?
So I gave birth in September. Labor wasn't all that bad. In fact I had a relatively short labor for a first time mom. I was only in labor for 6 hours, and only pushed for a hour and 20 minutes. However after I delivered, there were some complication. In fact those complications were really really scary. At some point, I plan on writing about those complications, but I feel like that would need to be a whole separate post. I am pleased to say, even with the complications Emmett's adoptive parents send me updates all the time telling me that he is doing good. Which I am always thrilled to hear. They were in the delivery room with me and my husband during labor and deliver, and when things were really scary right after delivery I felt horrible, and was racked with guilt. Here were these two beautiful women who had been waiting 9 months to meet their beautiful baby boy and he was fighting for his life. I will admit, I felt like a failure at that moment. I couldn't even deliver a healthy baby. What was wrong with me? When the doctor came in, explaining tests that they were going to run on Emmett, I remember asking "What caused this? What did I do wrong?" I was assured by my doctor that these things happen and there was absolutely nothing I did to cause it. In the days that followed I had numerous doctors, nurses, friends, and family tell me that it wasn't my fault... Did that help? Absolutely not. I knew they were right, but I still felt like I fucked up (excuse my language). Once we got a diagnosis I began researching everything I could on the diagnosis trying to figure out what went wrong. I spent several nights bawling my eyes as I poured over articles and articles researching Chorioamniontis. Eventually, my husband told me I had to stop researching because I was just making my self upset. And he was right. I stopped researching (at least I stopped researching as much) and I found my self at peace. To top off the stress of complications- the same night I was released from the hospital, I ended up back in the ER with chest pains and difficulty breathing. I swear they ran every possible test they could to figure out what was going on. I had an EKG, CT with Contrast, CBC, CMP, and lord knows what else. All the test came back good. They did find a kidney stone that wasn't moving and the start of a UTI. But nothing to explain the chest pain and shortness of breath. In fact, the physician's assistant that treated me diagnosed me with postpartum pain. A few days later I got a call from my doctor saying that she saw the test results and needed me to come into the office right away. My liver enzymes were through the roof. More testing, and for those of you who have experienced this you know what is coming- my gallbladder needed to come out and soon. I spent the better part of two weeks in horrible pain and in a partial state of starvation because I couldn't eat anything. Finally, I had the surgery- just about 3 weeks ago- and I feel amazing! My surgeon told me I could start easing back into running a week after surgery- so as soon as 7 days had passed I was right out back at it again. My run times are not great. In fact they are really bad. But my goal is to run or cycle at least three times a week and I have noticed that my run times are slowly getting better. I am still on exercise restrictions. I can't lift over 30lbs, I can't do push-ups or sit-ups, and I can't swim until the dermabond is gone, Which I can't wait until it all falls off, dermabond is itchy, annoying, and I swear to god I think it is grafting to my skin as long as it is taking to come off. So there it is, I am getting back to a semi normal life. It is taking some time and triathlon training is currently on hold while I recover from my surgery. But I am bound and determined to do what I can to stay in shape while I am recovering. I know by staying on top of my fitness, when I am finally able to workout without restriction, my come back will be much easier. I plan on keeping up on this blog better as I continue to work towards my goals. To keep you all posted on my progress and provide inspiration for you as you work through your own transformation.
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AuthorAmber Ames Archives
January 2019
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